Angela's Pregnancy FAQ

In an effort to be fair parents to our second child, I am providing a pregnancy FAQ for this guy too. You see, so many parents put all of the emphasis on their first child, that the second one goes under-noticed. While we can't be completely fair since Will was here first, we can try. For example, for Will, we had photos done of him every month for the first year and put them safely in his "My First Year" photo frame. It's quite cute. We are planning on doing the same thing for kid number 2. We are hoping that some of the 2nd child issues that most 2nd children develop can be mitigated. Any advice on how to do that, Robin?

Here is the Pregnancy FAQ:

Top Question: How are you feeling?
A: Why is this the only question that people can think of asking? Why do people think I want to talk about my feelings? Have I done something in the past that made you think that I want to talk about how I feel? Or do you really want to know how I physically feel?

• To answer the question, I feel fine. Other past answers have been, "I feel underemployed." "I feel tired because Dan has a cold and isn't sleeping well which causes me not to sleep well." (He's gotten a lot better at not tossing and turning lately.)
  
• For a little while there I had some back pain and a pulled leg muscle. Fortunately my coach at the YMCA was able to recommend some stretching exercises that fixed them.
  
• Lately I have had a weird hormonal shift. This has caused me to be too warm at night and unable to sleep very well. While I think that you sleep better before the baby is born, I can understand how most women in their 9/10th month of pregnancy think that having the baby will somehow improve their sleep. (Even though they are wrong. Got to remember that.)
  
• I think that people who have toddlers should not be pregnant. How am I supposed to pick up a 28lb child when I have a 6lb child inside me? Holding Will on my lap is difficult. Getting up and down from the floor is difficult. Fortunately Will is a little patient with me. When he demands, "hand" so that he can guide me to where he wants me to go, I tell him to wait until I get up off the floor. He is usually cool with this. An added advantage to Will is that since he has been walking for 10 months now, he gets around pretty well. I gave up carrying him so much when I got pregnant. He actually follows directions such as "stop" and "this way." It is quite useful.
  

Q: Is Will excited about the new baby?
Will is excited when he sees babies. We have tried to explain to him that there is a baby inside my tummy. He is at the age where he doesn't get it. He also thinks that there is a baby in Dan's tummy and his tummy. At night when we kiss him good night, he kisses my tummy goodnight, then kisses Dan's tummy.

Q: Are you still planning on having the baby at home?
Yes. The closer we get to the due date, the more and more it makes sense. The alternative is: contractions start - call someone to come take Will - get stuck in traffic - go to place that freaks me out (hospital) - get poked and prodded - get sent home with false labor - pick up Will - if actual baby delivered, bundle self and baby into car within 24 hours - put poor new baby in car seat - go home. It just seems easier and more friendly to: contractions start - maybe they continue - if so (or not), hang out and play video games or watch TV from our comfy couch - continue in a warm, friendly, relaxing environment - use Will as a distraction from contraction pain - have baby.

Q: When do you think the baby will be born?
A: I'm going with January 8th. We are not planning on actively doing anything to encourage the baby to come during this tax year, although that would be nice financially. I believe that the baby needs all of the time he can get inside before emerging to face the cold, windy world. His lungs can develop fully, he can put on some extra fat cells, and his stomach can hold more milk if he is bigger. (I believe this leads to better sleeping.)

Q: Will the baby be as big as Will?
A: This may sound crazy to many people, but I am hoping the baby weights between 9.5 and 10.0 lbs. I suppose that it would be fine if the baby was as big as Will, but I really hope that he does not exceed the 10.5 lbs that was Will at birth.

Q: Will the baby be as cute as Will?
A: We hope so. Will kind of sets a high standard of cuteness. I mean, he has hazel eyes and golden hair! How cute is that! I guess an acceptable alternative would be to have a baby that actually looks like us. Brown-eyed brown-haired can be cute too. Just look at Dan. If we draw a goatee on the little guy, the look will be complete!

Q: Where will the baby sleep after he is born?
A: Ultimately he will share a room with Will. However, we don't want him to wake up Will at night. For the first week or so, he will sleep on a low bed next to me. Then we will move him over to the portable crib, probably put in my office. Then, once he sleeps through the night, we will put his crib in Will's room.

Q: What do you need most for the new baby?
A: Unfortunately some things that we need are expensive. Our digital camera and photo printer seem to be on their last legs. As we got them 5 years ago, this makes sense. But it will be somewhat frustrating to take and print pictures of the next baby until we upgrade. We also hope to get a Sit and Stand stroller. One of those that has a normal seating area for the baby, but a place for Will to stand on the back. Or a little jump seat on the back if he gets tired. Fortunately we do need some less expensive things too. If we are going to take pictures of the little guy each month, we will need some clothes that do not have banana stains on them. Will was not the neatest baby in the world. We are also thinking about replacing our entire collection of bibs. If you feel the need to get us something, check out our registries on Babies' R Us or OneStepAhead. One of the things we are registered for is a video baby monitor. I am really curious to know what Will is up to in his room after we put him down for a nap or bed and he is still talking to himself. Also, it will be good to check to see what the two of them are doing once they start sharing the room.

Q: What is your most unusual pregnancy symptom?
A: I am terribly clumsy. It is a good thing that Rich and Amanda bought me drinking glasses for my birthday when they visited last May. I think I have broken at least 2 wine glasses and probably 4 or 5 drinking glasses. Fortunately I have been able to sweep up most of the glass after the breaking. Only once did I "find" a piece with my foot in the kitchen. Will has been safe so far.

Q: How much weight have you gained?
A: If Will stands in front of me, and I look down, I can't see him. My tummy is very large. So far, I have gained over 30 lbs which is more than I gained with Will.

Q: Are you nesting?
A: Sort of. While I only performed virtual nesting via my Sims2 game last pregnancy, I actually live in my own house this time. Last weekend I made Dan organize in the garage and help with organizing books on bookshelves. I also made Will help me organize my closet. It's not really a personal nesting thing, more of a directing others to nest for me. Must be the residual effect of too much Sims during last pregnancy.

Q: Do you want to go out for coffee?
Yes! If you are in the Redondo Beach area and are bored during the day on a Monday, Wednesday, or Friday, call me to go out for coffee. Am I limited to decaf coffee? Not anymore! I figure that the little guy has successfully developed his nervous system by now. Will survived the coffee drinking that accompanied my Japanese pregnancy (where they are confused if you order decaf). And it's not like I am having that much coffee. I'm still on half-caffeinated. Most pregnancy references say up to 2 cups a day of regular coffee is fine. My midwife says that it is possible that caffeine may cause smaller babies. I told her that was not the case, that Will was 10.5 lbs and I was drinking coffee every day near the end of the pregnancy with him. Her response... "Just imagine how big he could have been." So, come and help me in my efforts to have a "smaller" baby!

Q: Have you had the baby yet?
A: Ok, this is not really a question that has been asked yet. But I know that as I get close to my due date, people will keep calling and asking. Here is the general guideline: Immediately after we have the baby, we will post to the blog. We may even email you. So before you call, check the blog. Then, a little while after we have the baby, we will set up our web camera so you can all see the new guy.

The end of the pregancy FAQ. Did you notice how I failed in my efforts to help this baby to be special like the first one? Nearly every question or answer had to do with Will. Ah well, that doesn't mean we should stop trying to be fair, right?