Wednesday, September 26, 2007

VG Day!

After a long and drawn out struggle, the forces of man have achieved a small victory over the gophers. For a past two months, I have been terrorized by a gopher continually digging up our front flower box. About one or twice a week, I'd come outside and find about a cubic foot of dirt excavated from the flower box. Whenever this happened, I'd strategically dig around the box and attempt to find the little bugger's main tunnel so I could set a trap or place poison, but I didn't have any luck. The soil was too soft, and the tunnel would always collapse before I could find it. I'd give up and cart off the cubic foot of dirt. I figure about a cubic yard of dirt has come out of the flower box. No idea where all the dirt came from since the box only holds about two cubic feet of dirt, and the total volume of dirt in the box has remained constant.

This last weekend, however, we had a bunch of rain. I hoped the rain had flooded gopher out or something. So, I re-leveled the surface of the box. Come Monday, the little punk gopher did it again. This time about two cubic feet of dirt. So, I carted the excess dirt off and packed the remaining dirt down. Checked Tuesday morning, but no movement. Tuesday night when I got home, he had made a small mound of dirt with a pretty good size hole. I tried to follow the hole, again no luck. But I had an idea, I'd make him come to me. I'd dig a bigger deeper than his hole. One where he would have to reveal the location of his tunnel. So, I did that. Dug about a 8 inches down to the hard clay bottom.

This morning, JACKPOT! I walked outside with Will to put him in the car, and I saw dirt moving! I must have let out a crazy noise because Will was a little startled. There was his tunnel! He was still trying to fill the hole I had made so he could plug his hole. Immediately, I sprung into action. I grabbed my gopher bombs (sodium nitrate, sulfer, charcoal), lit a fuse, stuck one in the tunnel, waited for the smoke to start, and plugged the tunnel hole. Chemical warfare at its finest.

End result: Gopher - 99; Dan - 1. However, I think he's finally dead. So, I'm declaring myself the winner by knock out.

Hopefully, his family won't seek vengeance. I may have to nuke from orbit if that happens.


Angela said...

Very creative. We had a hedgehog or something of that nature bothering us earlier this summer too. Actually made a long tunnel under the concrete outside the garage door, down to the foundation area. Not so good. I think one of the neighbor's finally did him in...

watterflower said...

"I'm alright
Don't nobody worry 'bout me
You got to gimme a fight
Why don't you just let me be"

Have you seen Caddyshack?

Philip said...

Congratulations on your victory! We just discovered that our gopher is still alive and under our front steps. We already beat whatever was causing the hole in the back yard, but the battle with this one will start later today.

Angela said...

Unfortunately his family sought vengeance. We now have 3 holes in the flower box. Why can't the gophers just dig in the yard where we can find their tunnels?!

Dan said...

I think I may just dig up the box...put in a concrete bottom and start over.

Homeinyork said...

Did not realize in Califoria, where all things are perfect,(just ask the stars who live there) that you have to deal with such horrific invaders of the ground as gophers. We in the beautiful & serene state of SC only have moles. While they can be truly destructive little creatures, we in our infinite wisdom have a beagle. You may not know this but beagles enjoy running down or digging up other little creatures. When we moved in, our back yard had many tunnels. But, we brought with us our energetic & lovable Reese (pronounced like the candy). Reese has now dug up all tunnels & chased the annoying moles out of our yard. The good news is our yard is now mole free & ready to be seeded for grass. The bad news is next year Nick will have to mow the backyard more frequently.
Aunt Chris

Angela said...

I think we should get Will's brother a stuffed gopher. Will's got a puppy, lamb, and llama to keep him company. I think a gopher is in order. If anyone finds one, let us know.

Mayson and Laura Morrissey said...

"Nuke from orbit." referencing Aliens right? :)

Good luck with the struggle. We had moles at my dads and it's a constant fight.